Ryland In Houston

She's CRAFTA-y

2012-01-09T14:41:00.001-06:00

I'm so excited to see the new work of Los Angeles based artist Tanya Aguiniga! CRAFTA is an examination of Craft in the post-NAFTA era. Growing up on the US/Mexico border, living in Tijuana and studying in San Diego, Anguiniga's work is greatly informed by border experiences: the interconnectedness of societies, finding beauty in everyday struggle and the celebration of the unique border culture. The exhibition is an exploration of the artist' cultural identity and calls attention to the importance of craft as art. It serves as a form of cultural exchange and allows the artist to provide monetary support to her hometown through patronage.

The objects and materials used in CRAFTA are purchased at the San Ysidro International Border Crossing and have been re-worked to emphasize artisanal processes or used as raw goods from which to create new narratives in craft.

For more information on the artist or the show, check out Peel Gallery.

Happy New Year!!

2012-01-02T05:23:00.001-06:00

Wishing everyone a healthy, happy and prosperous new year.

Merry Christmas to All

2011-12-24T08:15:00.003-06:00

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10

Holiday Greetings

2011-12-22T09:22:00.003-06:00

Stay Tuned For...

2011-12-07T06:48:00.005-06:00

Conversations with the CREATIVE savant.

Merry Everything!!

2011-12-03T18:03:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-12-02T06:43:00.000-06:00

No, it's not my belly button birthday. Today I celebrate seven years, that's 2,555 days (give or take a few for leap years) of sobriety. My greatest accomplishment, without which nothing would be possible. Thank you to my Higher Power, my friends, my family and so many along the way who loved me when I couldn't love myself.

What I've Been Up To

2011-12-01T16:30:00.005-06:00

As anyone who can read a calendar (present company excluded) may have noticed, it's been quite some time since I've busted out the blog. Not sure if it's lacking inspiration, laziness, or the desire for a bit of privacy (if you buy that, I've got a bridge for sale). But rest assured, babies, I'm keeping busy. And not just as room mom and soccer mom. Behold, my latest incarnation.

Ryland is a home-grown Houston girl, with almost 20 years experience in public relations, marketing, branding, communications, special events, copy writing, social media, online presence development and special projects. Her area of expertise is creative direction, with a focus on business development.

She’s all about brainstorming and big ideas... starting with a flicker and ending with a complete creative concept. Known for clever quips, cut-lines, slogans and visuals, Ryland ties together loose ends to produce a tidy package.

A seasoned writer who easily adapts her tone to accommodate clients’ needs, she can start at square one, or take an existing concept, streamline, brand and launch it. Ryland is quick, witty and a master of turning a phrase. Her Rolodex is filled with Houston’s media, designers, taste-makers, and movers and shakers. She is a one-stop shop for all things creative.

While she is passionate about the creative process, Ryland is also the mother of a five year old son, a contemporary art collector, mad photo taker, traveler, lover of all things Mac, stationery junkie, blogger, spelling nerd and trivia whiz.

For more information, take a peek at The Creative Savant.

JAMP Gets His Kicks

2011-09-28T08:34:00.001-05:00

After an afternoon of playing supermodel with my dear friend Simon Gentry at The Photobooth on Montrose, Wonder Boy dropped in to say hi... or should I say HI-YA!?!

Fountain of Youth

2011-09-17T14:51:00.020-05:00

Actually, it's more of a pump than a fountain, but still... I began visiting Heidi Schulze's chair about 15 years ago. Initially our visits were all about cosmetics, but as I have gotten older, my focus has changed to skin care, and in particular, aging prevention. Last year Heidi introduced me to her Perfect Skin Emulsifier. It smoothed the texture and tone of my skin and I never would have believed a better product would be available.

Then, this spring, Heidi introduced me to her newest creation, Cell Youth Actif Serum. Always the skeptic, I wondered if it could possibly be all that she said it was. I hesitated to dive in with both feet, so she sent me home with samples to last a week. And with her big, beautiful smile, as I left she said that she would see me in a week. And she did. Cell Youth Actif is nothing short of a miracle serum.

My skin looks healthy, hydrated and firm. Pufiness, dullness and redness are gone. My skin is radiant and clear in a way it never has before. And one of the biggest benefits is that I wear almost no makeup now. I apply a bit of concealer under the eyes, loose mineral powder, blush, mascara and lip gloss (all selected for me by Heidi, of course) and I look like a totally natural, refreshed version of myself. In less than a month I will be turning 40, and my skin hasn't looked this good in at least 5 years. It's worth every penny and then some. And when paired with her Pefect Skin... flawless.

And just so you all know, this isn't a paid endorsement. In fact, it's in print. And we all know that we can believe everything we read.

Seriously though. Try it. You won't be disappointed. Unless puffy, dull and red is your thing. And if that's the case, I've got another program for you.

Watch out, Beibs!

2011-08-14T14:30:00.006-05:00

Justin Beiber... you aren't the only cute kid with bangs that flip who can write his own lyrics. Just sayin'.

Wonder Boy and Mr. Grav laid down this sweet track before JAMP left for a week away with his dad. Wonder how many times I'll watch it before his return.

The Name Game

2011-08-06T19:31:00.022-05:00

For a much needed long weekend away, JAMP, Mr. Grav and I loaded up toys, board games, Red Bull, coconut water (Mr. Grav's poison), bathing suits and tooth brushes and headed for Belle's Bunkhouse at Lakecliff on Lake Travis in Spicewood, Texas, or "Just Outside of Weird," as the locals say. After a morning of games and swimming, we thought we'd check out Jack Allen's Kitchen for lunch. Boy, did we hit the jackpot!! Jack Allen was so excited there is a restaurant with his name, he told the hostess, our waitress, any busboy he could flag down and several fellow patrons that his name was Jack Allen too, then he whipped out HIS business card. You know, to prove he was legit. The staff could not have been nicer. In fact, the other Jack Allen, whose name is actually Jack Gilmore, stopped by the table for a hello and quick photo. He confessed the only time he’s called Jack Allen is when he's in trouble with his mom.

The food was delicious... Wonder Boy had his standard cheeseburger and fries. Mr. Grav and I shared chicken nachitos (YUMMM), I had a "wedgie" salad that was bacony-blue-cheesy-dressed-with-green-goddess perfection and Mr. Grav ordered from the "Chicken Fried Anything" section. He chose chicken fried beef ribs. Smothered in gravy, they were the size of a ping-pong paddle.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, the blondie arrived. The warm white chocolate and caramel pie topped with Amy’s Mexican vanilla ice cream had the flakiest, tastiest crust that has every crossed my lips. If I had thought to pack my portable defibrillator, we’d go back again tomorrow.

A Monday Night with the Mayor

2011-08-01T22:44:00.001-05:00

Tonight Houston's Mayor, Annise Parker, held an ice cream social fundraiser, followed by bat-watching under the bridge at Waugh and Allen Parkway. Everyone said we were going to the bat cave. Imagine my surprise when Christian Bale wasn't there. Sigh. On a positive note, Hank's Banana Pudding ice cream was deeeeelish.

Things I Have Learned From My Father

2011-06-18T04:07:00.004-05:00

This Sunday will be Daddy's 39th Father's Day, so I thought I'd share 39 lessons he has taught me.

1. Finish what you start
2. Keep your word
3. The right thing to do is usually the hardest
4. Forgive myself
5. People deserve second chances
6. It’s not about what I have; it’s about who I am
7. Don’t sweat the small stuff
8. God has no grandchildren
9. Hard work equals success
10. Never give up
11. Let go of anger and old wounds
12. The lyrics to almost all Jimmy Buffett, Willie Nelson and Jerry Jeff Walker songs
13. Jiffy Pop popcorn, red Kool-Ade and the Three Stooges make a perfect Saturday night
14. How to love my child unconditionally
15. Take care of the little things and the big things will take care of themselves
16. How to be kind and assertive at the same time
17. How to peel crawfish
18. Animal-shaped pancakes taste better than round ones
19. Everything has a price, and mine is the value of 20 camels
20. Don’t expect too much - it leads to disappointment
21. There is always room for improvement
22. How to fish – in a lake, on a river and in the ocean
23. Nothing good ever happens after midnight
24. How to drive, whether in an Oldsmobile around Lake Hefner or in a Mercedes on the Corniche
25. Self-made parking places are the best ones, just like self-made men
26. I am smart, funny and beautiful
27. I can do anything I put my mind to
28. Be brave in the face of fear or uncertainty
29. Sarcasm is cruelty disguised as humor
30. Every problem has a solution
31. All of the answers to all of my questions can be found somewhere between Genesis and Revelations
32. Anticipation is always worse than the outcome
33. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have be the best I can
34. Think before acting
35. It is OK to ask for help
36. There is nothing shameful about needing people. I just have to pick the right ones
37. Every event in my life, good or bad, has made me who I am now
38. Listen more, talk less
39. He will love me until he takes his last breath, and I will love him until I take mine

The photo above was taken on our first fishing trip in August, 1974; one month before my 3rd birthday.

Hints from Hel-Louise Ryland

2011-05-21T11:14:00.004-05:00

I love these bamboo skewers. And not for making shish kabob. Anyone who knows me knows I can't cook - although I did make a mean batch of Eggs Benedict this morning. Anywhoo, I use them all the time for all sorts of things, none of which are food related. Here's a list of some little tasks I find them helpful for.

Digging the Wick: When you realize the wick of your favorite candle has gone limp and is swimming in that pool of melted wax that sits atop a recently extinguished candle, use a skewer to gently rescue it. No broken wick, no chunks of black falling into the top of the candle.

Stick It: Need to glue something really, really tiny back together? Apply super glue to the angled tip and drop right onto the area that needs repair. And I like to hold the opposite end of the stick. Walking around with last year's soccer trophy attached to my hand would be weird.

Golden Retriever: These babies are good at retrieving just about anything. Whether it's lint from the corners of your lint trap, toys from under the bed that you can't quite reach, items dropped in the potty (I suggest using 2 at a time for this, a la chopsticks), dead bugs, and anything between the car seat and console in a place so small a hand won't fit.

Smelling Sweet: Did you run out of those stick things for your fragrance diffuser? Pop a handful of these babies in and violå!

Since they ARE bamboo, the ultimate green material, they can be reused. Just trim at an angle to create another sharp point.

Why Does This Make Me Happy?

2011-05-16T19:58:00.003-05:00

What is it about this row of tshirts... perfectly white, the faintest smell of bleach, lined up shortest to longest, separated by sleeve length? Maybe it's the same thing as finding happiness and serenity in a just-organized closet or a freshly washed car? Creating order out of chaos? I don't know. But I do know something about this row of tshirts makes me smile. I also know that getting Mr. Car Wash's "odor bomb" to freshen one's car followed almost immediately by coating one's oven in Easy-off is a BAD idea. My eyes are still burning and I'm pretty sure any nasal hairs I had are now singed. Does anyone else hear that ringing sound?

Best Mother's Day Gift Ever

2011-05-09T19:37:00.000-05:00

My Boy with Selective Hearing

2011-04-28T06:32:00.007-05:00

My sweet, darling boy is a Cancer (born in June), a water baby through and through. He actually LIKES taking baths (especially when the Easter Bunny brings a new water gun). He also likes to water the yard. While I'm totally down with exploiting his enthusiasm to save myself a chore or two, the yard doesn't need to be watered. The sprinkler system does that.

So morning after morning he asks, "Mommy, may I please water your flowers?" Please note: I'm paraphrasing BIG TIME when quoting him. Maybe both of us, in fact. I reply with, "My darling, Mommy has to get in the shower at the moment, please wait until I am finished and we can water the flowers together. You know how I enjoy watching every single thing you do." Darling boy smiles and says "OK, Mommy... I'll wait."

FIve minutes later (at most - I didn't shave yesterday), I walk outside to see what my little angel was up to. Rather than using words, I'll just share the picture... it's worth a thousand words anyway. I do ask that you note that there's not a flower within 5 feet of his spray. And that he's rockin' an Ole Miss t-shirt and camo water boots. That's my boy.

Pure Glee from Miss G.

2011-04-18T19:56:00.003-05:00

So, I have always been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow's... even when she was in bad Lifetime made for TV movies. I have also always been a fan of Stevie Nick's Landside. Something about it has always spoken to me at different times in my life. Imagine my delight when I discovered Gwenyth's version of Landslide on Glee! And now, as I am nearing 40, as I still battle my inner child from time to time, as my own child grows older and as I am little by little letting go of things that I've held on to, for better or worse and as I feel the tides change, but manage to grow bolder, this song has never meant more to me. The lyrics are below. Enjoy.

This one's for you daddy.

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Till Landslide brought me down

Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm mmm I don’t know

Well I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I
Built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, I’m getting older too

I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I
I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, children get older
I’m getting older too
I’m getting older too
Soo take this love, take it down
Ohh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down, down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills,
Well maybe, the landslide will bring it down
Well well the landslide with bring it down

Don't Let the Pretty Face Fool You

2011-04-04T19:51:00.004-05:00

This is my very dear friend, Kristi. Not only is she gorgeous (the best compliment ever is when people confuse us or ask if we are sisters), but she also has a heart of gold. She has been blessed to be living an amazing, privileged life. Some folks think that her life is perfect, and some hold it against her. But anyone with anything more than rocks in her head knows that while someone's life may look perfect, we all have crosses to bear. Having said that, she is not one to whine and complain. Instead, she focuses her energy on how she can help others.

So I give you K9s4Cops... her labor of love. Moved by the story of a border patrol officer who was killed in the line of duty, Kristi began this organization. Its purpose is to provide law enforcement outlets with dogs whose aid is invaluable to the dangerous work they do every day. And it doesn't stop there. K94Cops also provides the education for the dogs and their humans that is needed for the dogs and the officers to do their jobs.

For more information on this important project, visit K94Cops Facebook page.

Ring My Belle

2011-03-29T07:42:00.003-05:00

Leave it to those clever sisters Laurann an Lizbeth, also known as Claridge + King. Their first design, the His is Hers shirt was the staple of my wardrobe. And now, this southern belle would trade a lifetime of deviled eggs for The Belle. Love the cuffs that tie, the linen is so soft and it looks effortlessly chic, from the moment it goes on, to the end of the day... wrinkles and all (the shirt's, not mine). Available for $135 at Claridge + King.

My Winter Boots Get Das Boot

2011-03-06T18:45:00.005-06:00

As winter comes to a screeching halt in Houston, I am at a total loss. For the last 3 months, I have worn boots every day. What in the world am I going to do when the weather gets really warm? Below are three options, but none of them do it for me. The flip flop boot? The built in air conditioning mesh boot? Or the 90% riding boot? Ugh. None of the above. Now, where did I put my ballet slippers?

There's an App for That!

2011-02-02T17:03:00.002-06:00

Last night I got an email from my gal pal Kristi. She told me that I could go to Digimobile Lite (where ever that is - probably outside of the loop) and download a free app to my iPhone/iPad/MacBookPro/whatever-other-gizmo-Mac-makes-that-I'll-buy-the-first-day-it's-available. Once downloaded, I could watch one of her broodmares give birth LIVE. Now, I love Kristi and God knows I want a pony, but I didn't want to see myself give birth LIVE. I wonder if that app comes with a blue sheet to hang in front of my face so I don't have to watch.

Do you have the Doodle Bug?

2011-01-20T12:41:00.002-06:00

If so, check out my new favorite website... Doodlers Anonymous! Share your scribbles with the world.

The Blonde Leading the Bloggers (Sorta)

2011-01-14T13:32:00.003-06:00

I say "sorta" because I am sorta blonde and we are sorta blogging. My high school aptitude tests said I should have been a teacher. Well, excuse me, Mr. MMPI, I beg to differ. This morning I tried to "teach" my colleagues a little bit about blogging for our new work blog. I'm so glad I'm not sitting in a classroom right now trying to teach little people to do anything. Our world is a better place for it.

Make Your List, Check It Twice

2010-12-01T14:53:00.006-06:00

Looking for a gift for your little one? Visit Style.com for a chic cheat sheet of children's gifts. J'dore the doll house!

Note from a Remiss Room Mom

2010-11-27T10:59:00.003-06:00

For those of you who don't know, in a fit of guilt over sending my child to school all day while I'm working, I signed on to be his soccer team mom and room mother at school. While I love being both, I probably should have picked one or the other, instead of overloading myself with both, thinking I could do more than I can. Anyway, for his school book fair, each room mom was to decorate a wreath to be auctioned next week. They were due on November 8. Here's mine. I'll be turning it in on Monday. It's a party for 20 kiddos at Little Matt's and party pics by Shelley Daly. Thanks for your generous donations, Jim and Shelley. Thanks for nuthin', slacker mom.

On a Shallow (Top) Note...

2010-11-23T22:13:00.003-06:00

Now that I've gotten the serious stuff out of the way - I am over the moon for Tom Ford's new fragrance, Champaca Absolute. Just like everything Ford creates, it is heaven. I'll be saving my pennies, 19,000 of them to be exact, for 1.7 ounces of this perfumed perfection.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-23T22:06:00.003-06:00

Today as JAMP and I feasted on chicken nuggets and mac and cheese at the SLDS Pre-K Thanksgiving Feast, I was reminded that I have so very much to be thankful for. In 9 days (God willing) I'll have 6 years sober. Were it not for strength I've found in His grace, I would not be this magical boy's mother. I wouldn't have a job I am passionate about and my loving friends and family. Most of all, I wouldn't have myself. My gratitude is boundless. Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Update

2010-08-17T11:42:00.003-05:00

It's been ages since my last post here or on Erma. I've been asked for an update, so here goes. Not much going on this summer in Houston. Well, not much for me anyway. Wonder Boy has been spending mucho tiempo with his Dad, taking swimming lessons, playing baseball and probably chasing lizards and bugs and all kinds of other things little boys do. With him gone so much, that cuts my subject matter in half. Add to that a hefty work load and a reemergence of what I believe is called a social life and you've got a busy Ryland.

I did manage to find time yesterday to make my newest art project. Although I'm not sure it's really a project if it's an idea you stole from Ikea. I found this great black frame (plastic that looks an awful lot like plaster) for $20. Normally, I'd fill it with a mirror so I could spend hours gazing into my own eyes, but while winding my way through Ikea I found some darling fabric by the yard for $7. A few snips with the scissors and voilå!

Wishing you all a happy fall. The season, not a tumble.

Village Five-and-Dime Closes

2010-07-08T07:09:00.002-05:00

This is just sad. For as long as I can remember I have loved this store. They had everything. From whoopie cushions to toaster ovens to more snow globes than I could shake a yard stick at, from kitchen towels, to holiday décor and toys galore, they had everything. What saddens me most is that Jack Allen won't be able to go there with his grandparents. Some of my favorite childhood memories are of trips to the Five-and-Dime in downtown Clarksdale, followed by a visit to the ice cream store shaped like a Mississippi River paddleboat.

Active Still Life? There's an App for That!

2010-07-06T08:44:00.005-05:00

LA based conceptional artist, John Baldessari, who is in his seventies (that's right folks, no more bitching about my age), has created an iPhone App called In Still Life 2001-2010, which was introduced just in time for his retrospective, Pure Beauty, at LACMA through September 12 and at The Met through October 20.

**Please note the image has been lightened so it can be seen against the black background. I don't want to piss of Abraham van Beyeren, no matter how long he's been dead.

1459 Days Ago

2010-06-24T07:58:00.003-05:00

Was the last day that my life would exist as I knew it. Tomorrow JAMP will be 4 years old. I can hardly believe it as I type. He's no longer a toddler, and certainly not a baby, as I'm reminded 4000 times every day with "I can do it myself, Mommy!" He grows and changes daily, with very definite ideas and opinions. I look back over the last 1459 days and laugh (through the tears I can't seem to control today) at how completely clueless I was about everything. But this little bundle of joy (literally), this most perfect soul, has taught me the most important lesson and given me the greatest gift - a true understanding of unconditional love. If he doused me in gasoline and lit a match, I'd be loving him completely through the flames. Thank you, Jack Allen, for making me a complete human being and for giving me the best job I have ever had... being your mother. My life is infinitely richer for sharing it with this person and I can't wait to see what will happen in the next 1459 days. Thank you, God, for sending me this boy. This kind, smart, sensitive, silly, rough and tumble boy who has dressed himself today in a sherbet-colored striped shirt, camouflage shorts and black lightem-up shoes. This boy who just asked me what color his eyes were. I said, "Brown." He smiled and said, "Just like you!"

What's It All Fur?

2010-06-16T22:17:00.001-05:00

When it's almost 100 degrees outside, it's hard to think about Fall Fashion. But these boots stopped me in my tracks.

Tae Kwon Do Master

2010-06-16T22:13:00.002-05:00

After breaking a board (no, not a balsa wood board), JAMP proclaimed himself a Tae Kwon Do Master. I couldn't agree more.

First Hipstamatic, Now Instamatic!

2010-05-05T17:37:00.002-05:00

Until about 2 minutes ago I thought the Hipstamatic app for iPhone was the best thing going for photos. Then I came across the new Polaroid instant camera. So cute! It comes in a rainbow of colors, but with Lady Gaga as the Creative Director for these little darlings, you just might find one that looks a lot like a lampshade on the shelves when they roll out in June. I can't wait to start shakin' like a Polaroid again.

Take Note

2010-04-28T18:16:00.003-05:00

There are very few things I love more than school supplies. Two of those few things are tote bags - I have a giant bag filled with them - and comfy t-shirts. Leave it to Artware Editions to sock 'em to me... right between the eyes like a misguided tether ball. With modest price tags, $20 for the tote and $65 for the tee, these E for Effort goodies are my new schoolgirl crush.

This Queen is No Drag!

2010-04-21T07:36:00.008-05:00

While poking around on the Saks Fifth Avenue website, in search of the ever elusive pale pink cashmere cardigan, I came across something that made my heart stop. Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. It's one of the top ten and it starts with a C. No, not covet. CASHMERE!! I don't know which I love more... a cashmere cardigan or a monogram. Thank you, Queen of Cashmere, now I don't have to decide. Before I commit to a $750 sweater, I should probably quit changing the middle initial of my monogram.

Ry's Dill-icious Egg Salad

2010-04-17T10:43:00.004-05:00

For those of you who buy in to that whole end-of-the-world notion, you might want to get the 2012 people on the phone. I'm pretty sure the end is near... I am posting a recipe on the internets. I feel it is only fair to tell you that while I can bake just about anything, I cannot cook. Not really. Now, if we are talking hors d'oeuvres for a cocktail party or a wicked cheese tray, I can swing it. And there are a handful (that's a Jack Allen sized hand, not a Shaquille O'Neal banana hand) of yummy side dishes (think Thanksgiving south of the Mason-Dixon) I can make well, but I can't guarantee you won't have a cardiac arrest. And if you want me to bake a chicken or make a roast, I'll stare at you blankly until you get so hungry that you give up and head to Central Market.

Having said all of this, there is one thing I am really, really good at. Egg salad. It's fairly simple. Boil some eggs (put the eggs in the water when you turn the fire on, take them off of the stove when the water comes to a full boil, and let them cool with the water). After the eggs have cooled completely, peel and separate the yolks and whites. Pull the Coleman's mustard powder out of the pantry and add water until you have a wet paste. Pour into the yolks, which have been smashed within an inch of their lives. Add a hearty helping of mayo. If you eat Miracle Whip, stop reading here. In fact, stop reading my blog all together. Stir until it reaches a pudding-like consistency. Chop egg whites to the size of your liking. Funny the ratio of yolk to white is perfect - no measuring required. Once blended, add in a few pinches of fleur de sel and fresh ground pepper. Now for the secret ingredient (well, I guess it's not really a secret if it's in the name) fresh dill. Cut the dill into flakes using your kitchen scissors. Dill to taste. Mix it all together and voila! The most dill-iscious egg salad outside of Empire Baking Company. Best served on a French roll. Who am I trying to fool? It's best slathered on thick slices of white bread! Enjoy!

Need a Big Dose of Stylish?

2010-04-12T18:42:00.004-05:00

Let your fingers do the walking and log in to Lonny.com, a shelter magazine that picks up where Domino left off, for tons of good stuff to read (and buy!. And be sure to turn to page 157 for a 20 page spread on the heavenly home of the ultra chic, james beard award winning, women's lounge line designer extraordinaire (and my dear friend) Laurann Claridge. There are great style notes to crib from the inspired article.

Joe Cool or Frank Poncherello?

2010-04-10T20:11:00.002-05:00

Is this kid the coolest? Or does he look like my childhood crush, Eric Estrada as CHiPs' Ponch?

Welcome, Neighbor!

2010-03-31T21:17:00.007-05:00

I'm so excited. If I were physically capable, I'd do a back flip. One of my favorite haunts is/was JMH market, located smack dab in the middle of West U, and as it turns out, just down the street from my house. 20 or so years ago it was an old school grocery store, exactly like the Wong's (the market in my Grandparents' hometown... Clarksdale, Mississippi). They had house accounts, the sale signs were handwritten, and the cash registers were not electronic. Sadly, about 8 years ago, the JMH I knew and loved closed, but reopened as a tiny version of Central Market. It too died an unfortunate death, and the space has been sitting empty for years. The property belonging to the defunct market was recently scooped up by fancy pants nursery Thompson + Hanson. Now for the really good news... a Tiny Boxwoods will be opening there!!! While I am trés excited, I'm a little eh-scared that the best chocolate cookies on the planet will be in walking distance from my home.

To Market, To Market

2010-03-25T16:12:00.011-05:00

Be sure to check out Design Fair 2010: Learn. Shop. Connect. A new twist on Lawndale's longstanding Modern Market, this year's event, slated for April 21-25, will feature the mid-century treasures we've grown to love, but with an added splash of cutting edge contemporary design. Don't miss Tootsies owner Mickey Rosmarin's Texas Co-op, a well-edited collection of new Texas object design. With a lecture on April 21 by Lauren Rottet and a Preview Party on the 23rd, there's a full 4 days of market fun. The cherry on the top is this year's honoree (she is on my Top Five list of funny folks) Paula Murphy, who has dedicated a decade worth of blood, sweat and tears to this noble design cause. Bonus points if you seek her out and ask, "Linda, can we tawk??" For more info, visit Lawndale Art Center.

G-O Get Your Geode!!

2010-03-24T14:47:00.003-05:00

I am crazy about this Isharya Crater purple druzy ebony bangle. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something about it that reminds me so much of my super chic friend and design doyenne Carol Isaak Barden. Available at Neiman Marcus with not-too-sticker-shocky price tag of $275, I want one for each arm.

That Face!

2010-03-24T14:44:00.003-05:00

If you look hard enough you will see a little smirk on Wonder Boy's face... you can see the wheels turning. He is up to something. Part Scott and part Ryland, this kid is 100% sugar, with a dash of snakes and snails and puppy dogs' tails.

Two Things Every Girl Needs

2010-03-17T19:59:00.003-05:00

I love this aromatherapy makeup brush cleaner. It's got a fresh clean scent, brushes dry in just moments and it cleans better than Bucee cleans a bathroom! And this stuff is a steal at $10.

I don't know how I lived without Heidi Schulze's Perfect Skin Line-Diffusing Emulsion. It's translucent, so it works on any skin tone. Not only does it smooth away lines, it evens skin tone and hides tiny imperfections. Worn alone, it leaves skin looking bright and healthy. Add mascara and gloss and you've got a perfect face for Saturday errands. Both are available through Heidi Schulze at Solution for Hair and Makeup.

Thank You, Uncle Karl.

2010-03-11T16:10:00.001-06:00

A Gift from Kipper

2010-03-05T08:08:00.002-06:00

Well, I am delighted that Kipper has figured out how much I like gifts. Especially fur (sorry PETA)! He brought me this goodie this morning while I was on the back porch. I didn't have the heart to tell him that wet possum isn't exactly my idea of a great gift. I'm trying to figure out a way to tell him that next time a mink vest would be a much better selection.

**The identity of the victim will be release pending notification of his next of kin.

Go Texan - Yee Naw!!!

2010-02-25T15:31:00.002-06:00

For weeks now, when I drop JAMP off at school, each of the classrooms has had a laminated cowboy boot with today's, date Feb 25 festooned upon the door. The calendar for the school labels today as city-wide go Texan day. But, I figure there are kids who don't have school on Friday, so they must be doing Go Texan day at school today, the 25th. So I get JAMP all duded up in his boots, handkerchief and sheriff badge (that I made). He looks darling and is so excited to be a cowboy. Imagine my surprise when I drop him off and learn Go Texan day is tomorrow. I think I must be the worst mother on the planet. Well, besides Nadia Suleman. And Kate Gosselin.

My Mama Told Me There'd Be Days Like These

2010-02-16T05:17:00.003-06:00

So true, Mr. Lennon... so true. I suppose I should know by now that can't all be winners, but as I woke up this morning, all I could think about was how glad I am yesterday is over! I guess I should have known something was off when I added a small dent to the collection of small dents on the back right passenger door of my car on my way to work (stupid pole in the parking lot). Then, at about 11 am, after being at work for a few hours, I realized that my pants were on backwards. Nice. Later in the day I ordered the new version of Photoshop. Being the impatient creature that I am, I couldn't wait the 2 whole days it would take to arrive if I ordered on the Mac website, so I went right to the source, Adobe, to order the downloadable version. While trying to multi-task, I accidentally selected Windows instead of Mac. As the day continued, so did the slow decline. They can't all be winners, I guess. Here's to hoping today will be brighter. I'm going to start with making sure my pants are on right.

My Funny Valentine

2010-02-13T17:50:00.001-06:00

WHO DAT, Part Deux

2010-02-07T21:36:00.003-06:00

Congratulations to the Saints and the great City of New Orleans. Way to geaux!!!

WHO DAT?!?!

2010-02-05T21:40:00.003-06:00

Even our baby dog Kipper is ready for Sunday. Thanks to Leon at Jon Andrews for the gold shimmery handkerchief. Check out the sparkles shining on to the seat. GEAUX SAINTS!!!

How's Your Aspen?

2010-01-29T14:16:00.004-06:00

God, I think that's clever. Always have. I used to love saying it as a kid because I could say "ass" and not get into too much trouble. Now that I'm older and so much wiser (tongue planted firmly in cheek), THIS is the best thing to come out of Aspen. And I say that with totally envy of my friends who spend Christmas, or worse... the whole summer there.

Meet my new love. The Aspen bag, brought to you by JulieBeth. Beth and Julie are best friends and designers who grew up together in Texas. After years of sketching, collaborating and talking about starting their own business, JulieBeth was born. Inspired by treks taken together, these globe trotting gals' passports are full. Heck, they probably even have the extra pages in them. All of their designs are inspired from their treks together. Watch for their next collection, the result of a recent Thelma and Louise-style adventure to Ireland, Spain and France.

In the meantime, visit JulieBeth on line. And feel free to use the line, "How's your Aspen?"

Inspiration

2010-01-24T10:13:00.002-06:00

It's no secret that I am totally square when it comes to music, and that I love just about anything that leaves me with a feeling of melancholy. And unless someone hits me over the head with something new, chances are I won't listen to anything that has come out since about 1995. As a kid, I couldn't understand why my parents weren't more musically hip. Once again, the apple doesn't fall far.

This morning I was watching CBS Sunday Morning when I was hit over the head with Melody Gardot. Not only is she young, gorgeous and velvet-voiced... her story was truly inspirational. Skip the fact that she's Buddhist, sticks to a macrobiotic diet and looks like Portia de Rossi (sickening, I know). In 2003, the Jersey born jazz singer was riding her bicycle in Philadelphia when she was suddenly struck by a Jeep that ran a red light.

The accident caused not only severe physical trauma (she spends all of her days in significant pain and at age 25 requires a cane), but also brain damage. When she was learning to speak again, she was having some trouble, so the therapists suggested she sing. This technique not only helped her regain her speech, but also seven years later, she just went double platinum in France. So, if you are looking for a female jazz singer, influenced by Janis Joplin, Judy Garland, Miles Davis and Stan Getz, get thee to iTunes at once!!

Duck, Duck GOOSE!

2010-01-23T12:23:00.004-06:00

Mother Goose has nothing on Aurélie Bidermann. I am in love with this 18-karat gold goose feather necklace. While feather-inspired jewelry has been hot for a while, Bidermann, known for her lightweight designs (nothing worse than a heavy necklace weighing you down... get it? Down?), dips real goose feathers in 18K gold, threads them bronze and grey cotton chain, and voilå! Available on net-a-porter.com for $2,025. Pricey, I know. If jewelry isn't your thing, save the dough to feather your nest.

Art For Life

2010-01-18T12:25:00.005-06:00

Andy Warhol (perhaps you've heard of him, at least for 15 minutes or so) said "Art is Life." Aids Foundation Houston says Art4Life with their fifth annual art auction (featuring works by local and national artists), on Saturday, January 30, 8 - 11pm at the New World Museum, located at 5230 Center Street. Chaired by Gallerist Deborah Colton and husband Bill with Houston Arts Alliance CEO Jonathon Glus and husband AFH Board Member Alton LaDay, the evening will offer great art, terrific tacos, courtesy of Armandos big red taco truck and the bossanovafied music of Houston's Grammy-recognized Kristine Mills. Tickets start at $50 and can be purchased at www.AIDShelp.org. See you there!

Giddy Up!!!

2010-01-15T13:24:00.004-06:00

For those of you who don't know (both of you), I am fairly clumsy. Maybe more than "fairly." When I was a kid my dad had a song and dance dedicated to my being a klutz. So, it wasn't a huge surprise to me last week when I was taking the garbage out I slipped in some mud and took a major tumble, banging up my knees and hands. When I got inside I was limping and in tears. JAMP asked what was wrong. I told him Mommy fell. Naturally, the first thing out of his mouth was his new favorite word, "Why?" I told him that my cowboy boots were slippery on the bottom and I fell in the driveway.

Fast forward to this week. I told him I was going to take the garbage out and would be right back. He said "Don't wear your giddy up shoes, Mommy." I had on my shearling slippers, so I asked "Are these my giddy up shoes?" He looked at me like I'm crazy (perceptive kid) and said "No, silly mommy, those are your slippers." I must have looked confused because he opened the door to my closet, pulled out a cowboy boot and said "These are your giddy up shoes, Mommy. Don't wear them when you take the garbage, you will fall."

Love

2010-01-09T06:26:00.003-06:00

A very wise man told me yesterday to quit looking at the ways I think I don't measure up and to love myself unconditionally... love myself the way i love JAMP. Here's to day one.

Mother of the Year (Again).

2010-01-07T06:28:00.004-06:00

Once again I find myself being considered for Mother of the Year. And to think, it's only the first week in January. To what do I owe this honor? There are two reasons, actually. One, I got JAMP a ZhuZhu pet for Christmas. I mean, come on, it's the Christmas 2009 version of the Cabbage Patch Doll or Tickle Me Elmo. Anyway, the word on the street is that they are deep fried in asbestos then covered in lead paint (thank you, Lynn). And two, yesterday I got an email from the City of Houston's new Mayor, Annise Parker, letting me know what to do about the impending winter storm conditions. First on the list? A word for the (un)wise from the Fire Department... never leave a child unattended in a room with a space heater. For weeks now I've had a space heater in JAMP's room at night while my little darling sleeps, as his is the chilliest room in the house.

Fortunately, there were no other glaring violations on my part. On another note, the Houston Coalition for the Homeless has a plan in place for those who need assistance. Outreach teams from SEARCH will be providing blankets and coats for those who do not seek shelter at The Star of Hope, The Salvation Army or the Bread of Life. If you've got coats and blankets that you don't need, please consider donating.

Make A Wish!

2010-01-02T21:36:00.002-06:00

Love these porcelain wishbones. They make great gifts, and with a price tag of $20, you can give wishes to all you wish. Available at www.etsy.com.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far...

2010-01-02T19:22:00.001-06:00

Join me, if you will, on a trip back in time to summer of 1984. My father was living and working in Cario. My brother John and I joined him there for the summer, and what a summer it was. We traveled all over Europe, rode camels, rescued the dirtiest orange tabby kitten you’ve ever seen from the filthy street (who we named Peanut and would travel back to the US and lived with my mother until about 5 years ago), saw amazing museums with items from the cradle of civilization. We hung out at the embassy with the other ex-pats, had a monkey named Lucky and tossed water balloons (ok, trash bags filled with water) from our penthouse balcony. It was one of the most memorable times of my life, except for being pissed there was no MTV or an Esprit (insert the E with no spine) store.

One particular memory that makes all of us laugh to this day involves a trip to the grocery store. Daddy had just gotten a brand new Peugeot. He had been driving a red four-dour Mercedes sedan. Side note, I was really sad to see that car go as I learned how to drive in it. Anyway, back to the new Peugeot. It was midnight blue, had that great new car smell, and was an automatic – a rarity there.

So, we pile in the new car and head to the grocery store. After stocking up on bottled water, tuna for Peanut, grapes and bananas for Lucky, and a handful of those AWESOME English candy bars that I can’t remember the name of. They have a lion’s head on the wrapper and are chocolate covered puffed rice and caramel…. but I digress.

We get back in the car and head down the Khan-el-Kalili, the main road that was really like a video game as there were no lines on the streets, no traffic lights and a driving free for all. A few minutes from the store, Daddy gets a whiff of a foul smell. A smell that is seriously jacking (pun intended) with the new car smell. Dog poop. He starts carrying on, telling John and me to check our shoes because one of us stepped in dog poop. We both check our shoes and nothing. Still not convinced, Daddy pulls over to inspect our feet. And sure enough… nothing. Then, he checks his own topsiders (again – the is 1984), and lo and behold, he was the culprit.

The shoes go in a plastic bag from the store and into the trunk. As I mentioned, to this day this story makes my brother and me chuckle. So now, fast forward to 2010. Yesterday in fact. JAMP and I took Kipper for a walk. JAMP on his scooter and Mommy with leash in hand, trying to dodge JAMP’s wheels and keep Kipper’s leash from getting tangled around his own legs, or JAMP’s wheels. If you live within a mile radius of West U Elementary, you may have heard “KIPPER!! I AM THE LEADER!!” in the early afternoon.

About half way through the outing, JAMP decides he doesn’t want to ride his scooter anymore, he wants to walk and hold Kipper’s leash. The latter gets an automatic “no”. So, I fold up the scooter, tuck it under my arm and do my best to navigate the fellas back to the house. JAMP wants to stop at the park. I finally convince him that we need to take Kipper and the scooter home and then we’ll go back to the park in the car since “Mommy, my legs are tired” is coming from that sweet little mouth about every 10 seconds.

We get home, unload Kipper and the scooter and pile in the car headed back to the park. Almost immediately after pulling out of the driveway, I smell that smell. I should probably point out that my car is in the shop and we are in a brand new loaner. So, I sigh and roll my eyes as I pull over, and say “Jack Allen, you stepped in Kipper caca!” He immediately starts kicking the back of the seat. Awesome.

I get out of the car and inspect his shoes. All clear, not even any mud. Slowly I move my head downward to inspect my own shoes. Uggs at that. Please note that Uggs have a virtual road map of cracks in the heels. I don’t even have to turn my heel all the way over to see the giant hunk of dog crap on the side of my shoe. I turn my foot and find about 5 pounds of dog shit filling the cracks of my shoes. I close his car door and on the 1/2 block drive back to our house, humbled by my screw up, I laugh to myself, remember that day in Cairo and think (for about the millionth time) the old adage is true… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Clear Your Heart

2009-12-31T17:46:00.004-06:00

I went to an AA meeting this afternoon for the first time in longer than I care to admit. It’s amazing how when things are going along just fine, I’m much less likely to go. Today things were not going along just fine (in my head and in my heart), so I went. It was a meeting I hadn’t been to before at a club that I haven’t been to since I first came home from treatment. But, God, in his infinite wisdom, sent me there so that I could hear a message that I really needed to hear. It's time to clear my heart.

It’s no secret that this year has been a challenging one… full of change and some difficult times and decisions. Today it all came crashing down upon my heart. With each breath I took, all I felt was sadness and loneliness. So I went to a meeting. And I was able to sort out that while there was sadness and loneliness in my heart, there was anger and resentment as well. Anger isn’t an emotion I do well. And resentments are dangerous territory for me.

The meeting started with a woman named Annie, who has 24 years of sobriety (which automatically makes her WAY wiser than I am – as if to say I am wise at all), reading the eleventh step prayer. It reminded me quite a bit of the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. The words made me feel so much better, so I thought I’d share. It goes like this…

“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace – that where there is hatred, I may bring love – that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness – that where there is discord, I may bring harmony – that where there is error, I may bring truth – that where there is doubt, I may bring faith – that where there is despair, I may bring hope – that where there are shadows, I may bring light – that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted – to understand, than to be understood – to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.”

Now, a couple of things… I’m pretty sure the part about “where there is error, I may bring truth,” does NOT mean that I have to be right all the time. And the part about dying, well, I hope that is a long way off. But what I got from this is that I should strive to look for the good and BE the good.

And that, my friends, is my New Year’s Resolution. A lofty one, indeed. But one I will do my best to stick to, one day at a time.

JAMP 3.5

2009-12-31T14:05:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!!

2009-12-30T22:45:00.004-06:00

As 2009 comes to an end, I look back at what a year of change it has been for me.... some really tough, some really wonderful. I am excited about a new year that's filled with promise. And a clean slate. Wishing you all a wonderful 2010. Here's to health, happiness, prosperity and more blessings than we can count.

An Open Letter to the Mens from Sher

2009-12-27T15:06:00.003-06:00

What in the name of bad combovers and goatees is the matter with you?

My friend Ry is a smoking hottie. She is blonder than blonde; her skin looks like she’s had a baby ass transplant onto her face; and she’s funnier than hell – which now that I write that, I’m thinking I just said Ryland is funnier than people burning alive for all eternity.

Which she totally almost always is.

She has all her own teeth, and lemme just say that not only are they hers, they are so spectacularly white and dazzling that when she smiles at someone in Houston, she lights up the room – in Georgia.

She is not rich, but she’s not poor either. Like if you needed to borrow twenty bucks until payday to put gas in your Gremlin, she would definitely give it to you.

She doesn’t drink or do illegal drugs, but if it so happens that you are a Dilaudid junkie, she wouldn’t rule you out as a potential mate. So long as you don’t mind her bringing a Ziploc baggie over to your house from time to time, it’s all good. (But not the same baggie she keeps her hair extensions in because she is a class act, you dumb shit.)

It’s not like she has high standards when it comes to men, so don’t even try to tell me you’re not asking her out because you can’t meet her expectations. Please with that. She’s a simple girl with some pretty simple rules for her mens.

1. Do not say, “you and I” when what you should have said was, “you and me.”
2. Do not say the words canoe or camping or bug spray to her. Ever. In fact, don’t even say words that rhyme with those words, or even have the same letters but in a different order.
3. Do not categorize a body of land as an island unless you are positive it is in fact completely surrounded with water and therefore really is an island. She takes big points off for geographical mistakes.
4. If you own a Harley, never tell her.
5. If you do not own a tux, please get to your nearest funeral outfitters at once and resolve that issue before contacting her.
6. When you pick her up for dinner, please whip out your passport so that she might verify that it is indeed, at the ready.
7. How much money you have in the bank is not important to her. What is important is whether you are a good person. As the old saying goes, there is no better test of a good person than how much money he makes a year.
8. If you own a tank top, you should die a fiery death. While wearing your tank top.
9. Loving sports is OK. Painting your chest is not.
10. Loving your family is wonderful. Loving your family more than you love that she loves her family is not.

In short, it's time for Ryland to get back on the horse. Well not an actual horse, because that sounds too much like something you would do on a camping trip. The horse in this scenario is you – the mens.

Not that she’s ready to get back on you specifically, because that implies she’s been on you before and unless you were in some of the Houston hotspots in 2003 and specifically remember having to put on your aviator sunglasses every time your “date” smiled at you, she’s not been on you – yet. It’s not too late though – so act now! Call, write or text her right away but just don’t fuck this up because you get one shot.

One.

Christmas Eve

2009-12-25T00:21:00.004-06:00

Look at that face... all hope, happiness and wonder. I don't know what I did to deserve this angel, but thank you GOD for sending him to me. Oh! Happy 2041st birthday, Baby Jesus.

C+K in the Big O

2009-12-19T22:16:00.005-06:00

Most of you know that my best gal, Laurann Claridge, and her sister Liz King are the creators of Claridge + King, women's lounge wear, inspired by men's wear. Well, look at this... the dynamic duo's "His is Hers" shirt (of which I own seven, because they are just that fabulous) has made the O List! Check out page 68 of the January issue of O magazine. And yes, this pic was taken at Walgreens. Don't act like you are surprised.

Here Comes Santa Claus...

2009-12-14T11:52:00.002-06:00

The World Wide Web Ups Its Chic Quotient!

2009-12-12T12:32:00.010-06:00

It's no secret that I am in the top 10 of PaperCity fans. And not just because I love the staff so dearly (shout out to HMK. LC, CA, JA and KAS!!), but because the magazine is published perfection... each issue more beautiful than the last. But beyond that, the information they share is always interesting and inspired. Now, my darlings... get thee to thy MacBook Pro read PaperCity online at www.papercitymag.com.

BOO!!

2009-12-09T07:01:00.003-06:00

Love these Ghost Proof etchings by Artist Boo Saville. Splashing acids on the original photos, Saville's faces become unrecognizable and evoke feelings about how we perceive death. The signed and numbered editioned pieces are available for 1500 British pounds through . And if these eerie pieces aren't your speed, check out their website for a host of other contemporary works.

Let it Snow!

2009-12-04T22:34:00.008-06:00

Yesterday Houston was covered in snow for the better part of the day. Big, fat flakes fell softly from the sky. This is the second year in a row we’ve had snow in December (global warming??). It felt like a magical day, the spirit of Christmas filling the air. Historically, I’ve not been a big fan of Christmas. With divorced parents, the back and forth shuffle and fights over where my brother and I spent out time sent my anxiety levels through the roof.

But, this year (I tell myself) this is going to be THE year, the year of the perfect Christmas. JAMP understands the story of Baby Jesus (he should, Mommy refers to him enough), as well as the magic of Santa Claus. The tree is decorated, the lights are up outside, gifts wrapped and under the tree. In my over-achieving-be-the-best mother-and-make-it-up-to-JAMP-because-his-family-is-no-longer-whole, I have done way too much to make it a perfect Christmas for him. Or, am I trying to make it a perfect Christmas for me? Trying to compensate for all the years of anxiety about the Holiday? Trying to give him the idea of what I wish I'd had?

Either way, my sweet, happy, bouncing boy will we just that. I will be blessed to enjoy the magic and wonder through his eyes, remember to be thankful for all that we have, make an effort to reach out to others, and no matter what, not to cry in front of him.

Man Cannot Live by Bread Alone

2009-12-03T10:32:00.003-06:00

Last night I opened the refrigerator and found JAMP's New Testament (a hand me down from his Dad) sitting on the shelf next to the white bread. Do I have the next Billy Graham on my hands?

Party Girl No More

2009-12-02T23:02:00.004-06:00

Five years ago today was my first sober day in I don't know how many years. What started out as fun and being the life of the party, quickly snowballed into being a cocktail party joke; a liability. Five years ago today, I turned my will and my life over to the Higher Power of my understanding. And since then, the blessings continue to roll in. Sure, I still have bad days, and sure, sometimes my demons come back to visit. But thanks to God, AA and my efforts to maintain recovery, it is with gratitude and immense humility that I can say I haven't had a drink in five years. Peace, acceptance and self love - I could never ask for greater gifts.

P.S. The photo isn't me... I'd never wear a bird pinned to my tank top. And I probably would have been slumped over, or growling at the camera.

Turn the Page

2009-12-02T22:51:00.005-06:00

One of my favorite gifts to give (and receive) is a really well done read. Whether you're into home decor, hot hotels or you subscribe to the idea (who doesn't?) that more is more, here are some books that would be great under any tree. And of course, there's my all time favorite, Domestic Art, a collection of homes that have graced the glossy pages of PaperCity magazine over the years. And not just because my name is in the acknowledgements. Well, not entirely.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-24T22:31:00.004-06:00

I am humbled by the bounty I have to be thankful for... for the countless gifts God has given and continues to give me. JAMP. What an amazing blessing he has been, making my heart expand in ways I never could have imagined. Of course my family, in spite of all of the crazy, and my wonderful friends. It has been a rough year... hard to think about where I was at this time last year. But I came out of the muck stronger, wiser and filled with gratitude. Thanks to all who have stuck by me, even when I may have made it challenging. Friends, remember to tell those you love how much you do. Give lots of hugs. And stop to think about what you have to be grateful for. It's inspiring.

Fashion + Art = Fabulous!!

2009-11-20T22:04:00.004-06:00

NYC's edgy outpost Intermix is mixing and matching with the Art Production Fund to create limited-edition Richard Phillips Spectrum prints. Hang one in your home for only $250. 100% of the proceeds go toward the Art Production Fund, which facilitates projects by contemporary artists.

Mother of the Year (Again)

2009-11-17T22:56:00.000-06:00

I know, I know… hard to believe I have once again earned (does self-declaration count?) the title of Mother of the Year. Especially since this is like the 14th time I’ve won in 2009. Some of the aforementioned titles may not have been legit, but today’s is. At least according to Wonder Juana.

Right now I should be at KK’s house rubbing elbows with this hot shot celebrity manager from NYC and his entourage. I should be wearing my camel cashmere sweater wrap thingy over my favorite black t-shirt (yes, I have 1 favorite of my dozen or so black t-shirts), with my new black suede platforms and my most favorite gold Alexis Bittar bracelet. What does this have to do with Mother of the Year? Nothing. I just really liked what I was planning to wear tonight.

However, instead of hobnobbing and flipping my hair around in said getup, I am in the biscuit in my favorite (yes, again) Seaside t-shirt and red pajama bottoms. Try to control yourselves, Fellas… both of you who read this nonsense. Why, you ask, am I missing out on a fun grown up night with my best gal and the chic set? Because I am Mother of the Year, of course.

When I packed JAMP’s bag for him to go with his dad for the weekend, I neglected to pack a parka. And it’s a frigid 55 degrees outside right now. Juana informed me that because I didn’t pack warm clothes, Scott didn’t dress JAMP warmly enough yesterday (which I recall as being kinda warm, but whatever). So now Wonder Boy has a fever and is so congested I can hear him snoring in his bed. And she pointed out that 8 children, young ones, have died because their parents didn’t pay attention to the weather. Great. Guess I should bake some brownies or something, CPS will be at my door at any minute.

Why I Am Not a Member of Mensa

2009-11-16T16:22:00.000-06:00

There are many reasons why I am not a member of Mensa. Probably the most significant of which is because they haven’t heard about how brilliant I am. Or perhaps because I haven’t applied. Or because sometimes I can be, well, how should I say it? Blonde?

I woke up this morning to a blaring alarm. The kind that sounds like what I imagine the alarm on the Valdez sounded like when the oil started to spill from the ship. But hey, at least I wasn’t tanked.

So this blaring horn-like sound is coming from my alarm clock (or so I think), assaulting 1/3 of my senses. I push the snooze button. Nothing. I push the off button. Nothing. I pick up the alarm clock, shake it around, desperately trying to stop the squawking. Nothing. I get out of bed, much to my dismay (I was due 2 or 3 pushes of the snooze button) and unplug the alarm clock, which is plugged into the wall behind my bed, so there is furniture moving involved too. Still blaring. I remember there is a battery in the clock so that should the power go out, I won’t accidentally sleep late (serious design flaw, if you ask me). I take the battery out and the thing is still blaring away. I go meth addict on the clock at this point – trying to take it apart to get it to shut up (don’t tell JAMP I said shut up).

Nothing is working and in my bleary eyed state, I look down on the floor and find the culprit. My fully charged iPhone saying “Good morning, Dumbass.” So I pick it up, turn off the alarm and crawl back under the covers in hopes of getting another 15 minutes or so of zzzzzs. Just as I am relaxing, the alarm clock goes off. Only instead of the gentle sounds of a breezy beach, it is emitting radio static so loudly that I’m pretty sure my friends at my neighborhood Walgreens could hear it. The good news… wonder boy is still asleep in his room, only 12 feet from mine. The bad news, not only will I never be a member of Mensa, I’m also pretty sure there is a remedial alarm clock class in my future.

Veterans Day - I Salute You!

2009-11-11T16:23:00.001-06:00

This is my Grandaddy, John (Jack) Barksdale Holmes, Sr. He was born April 7, 1924 in Winona, Ms., the small town in the Mississippi Delta where he and his brother were raised by their mother, Mama Rita and their father, Daddy Pop, a doctor (who served our country in WW1). He attended Ole Miss, but left early to serve our country. Stationed in San Diego, he served as a Navy Combat Pilot who flew over the Pacific in WWII. After the war ended, he returned home, finished college at Ole Miss, then married my grandmother, Mama Suzy. They had three sons, Jack (Daddy), Gene and Ed. When Daddy was three, they moved to Clarksdale, Ms. where Grandaddy and his partner opened a CPA firm.

Don’t let the serious stuff fool you… he is silly and fun and one of the genetic sources of my sense of humor. Always quotable, over the years he has shared some real doozies, such as, “Want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.” Or, “just because someone puts a turd on the table, that doesn’t mean you have to pick it up.” The second pearl of wisdom has come in really handy the last few months.

He is kind, tender-hearted and always had a warm hug or a spot on his knee for me and my five cousins. He taught me how to read maps and how to use a calculator. He buried at least a dozen goldfish (wrapped in purple velvet material, encased in plastic Crazy Eights box) during one of my brother’s and my many summer visits. He took us to feed the ducks. He had a clear plastic box called the “dime box” that sat on his dresser. He filled with dimes and each time the grandkids came to visit, we’d divvy up the contents and head straight for the Big K (Kmart’s predecessor) so we could buy whatever we wanted with the dimes. He’d play Yahtzee or Monopoly for as long as we wanted. He got us red and blue pompoms at Ole Miss games (the perfect accessory for my Ole Miss jumper), and those giant tissue flowers at amusement parks… the ones my parents wouldn’t buy because they would only last about 10 minutes and were a total waste of money.

Before Clarksdale had its own roller rink, he’d drive us all the way to Fort Smith, Arkansas so we could skate. One summer there was a fishing tournament at the Country Club. I was on fire… I couldn’t keep the fish off of my hook. He spent the whole day taking fish I’d caught off the hook and re-baiting. At one point my brother John got bored with the fishing, so I was working 2 rods. He never tired. He never made me stop. I won first prize in the contest… a tackle box. I don’t know who was more proud. He would indulge my requests to go to “Liberty Land,” Memphis’ answer to Six Flags. We saw Elvis pulling out of Graceland together.

Another summer we were visiting, Daddy had been traveling in the Middle East. He arranged a surprise visit to Clarksdale to see John and me on his way home. My grandparents kept the secret and to this day, I think that is the most surprised I’ve ever been. Almost as much of a surprise was the year he and Mama Suzy came to Houston for my birthday. As we were setting the table for dinner, the doorbell rang… I opened the door and there Mama Suzy and Grandaddy stood.

One time, I think I was about 7, he spoke about WWII. This was very rare. Having no concept of what it meant, I asked him “Grandaddy, did you like dropping bombs and killing people?” He grew silent and left the room. It took years for me to understand what I had asked and how he responded.

We call him “Mr. Civil Defense,” he is always concerned with the safety of others. He loves his Rotary Club, Ole Miss football, Atlanta Braves baseball, hunting and fishing. He is utterly devoted (he’d make a crack about being udderly devoted) to my Grandmother, Mama Suzy. They have been married for over 60 years. Before he retired, he went home every day so they could have lunch together. He loves his sons, grandchildren and great-grandhildren. Daddy’s favorite memories of him are the two of them, sitting side-by-side in the back yard, grilling steaks and listening to baseball on the radio. He has never missed a significant event in any of his grandchildren’s lives… graduations, debuts, weddings, you name it.

He’s older now. He moves a little slower, but he will always be a giant of a man to me, and a source of unconditional love. I love you, Grandaddy. Today (and every day, for that matter), I salute you.

Halloweenie!

2009-11-01T21:04:00.009-06:00

Good Grief... It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

2009-10-30T07:33:00.006-05:00

Long before the Halloween season arrived (well, not at Walgreens, they've had halloween candy stocking the shelves since Labor Day), Jack Allen announced that he wanted to be Charlie Brown for Halloween. I was so tickled. Not only because I was in love with Snoopy when I was a little girl, but also because I thought JAMP was so clever and creative. While he is both of those, that's not why he chose Charlie Brown. After what feels like hundreds of viewings of DVDs starring the Peanuts gang, JAMP picked up the word "stupid." Knowing it is not a nice word, he doesn't day it (usually) and corrects me (always) when I do. So, Wednesday, the day of his class Halloween party he said "Mommy, since I am Charlie Brown, I can say the bad word." I couldn't help smiling and said "just because your costume is Charlie Brown, that doesn't make it OK to say that word." With his big brown eyes, or kryptonite as I like to call them, he looked up at me and said "Pleeeeeease Mommy, I want to say that word." So I made him a deal - he could say it ONE TIME before school and not again. He looked at me and quietly muttered "stupid." That seemed to do the trick. Speaking of tricks, let's hope he doesn't get a bag full of rocks when trick or treating tomorrow night.

"Sexy" Halloween, Part BOO!

2009-10-28T07:08:00.002-05:00

Here we have Miley Cyrus’ little sister, Noah. I actually like her name, but I see lots of mail addressed to Mr. Noah Cyrus in her future. And in this particular case, I know of what I speak. If I had a dollar for every time I got something addressed to Mr. Ryland Holmes, I’d have enough money to retire. Then I could spend all of my time correcting other people's grammar.

But I digress… Check out the “costume” Miss Noah wore to the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation’s 16th Annual Dream Halloween shindig. I wonder if it came with a “safe word.” Either I’m an old fuddy duddy (which is clearly the case since I just said fuddy duddy), or kiddie costumes have gone to the dogs. Or in this case, through a paper shredder.

Call me judgmental, but what’s wrong with Snow White or Cinderella – besides the bogus fairy tale ending?

"Sexy" Halloween?

2009-10-11T02:50:00.004-05:00

For the last 2 years, I’ve noticed a trend in Halloween costumes for women. The “sexy” anything… nurse, teacher, CPA, whatever. Today JAMP, his friend George, George's mom Missy and I went to a CHILDREN'S halloween event - a train ride from Palestine to Rusk and back again, with a Peanuts themed party as part of the fun. There was a petting zoo, a bouncer, an appearance by Snoopy, lunch, trick or treating and a pumpkin patch. All of the kids were in costume, as were a few parents. We saw a “sexy” department of corrections worker. And more disturbing than that was her “sexy” daughter. We couldn’t figure out her costume… was she a future Brtiney Spears? I guess the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Poor thing, I see a pole in her future… and I don’t mean a political one. Being the somewhat old-fashioned, uptight, mother-of-a-small-child, WASP that I am, I’m opposed to the whole “sexy” costume notion. Just dress as a hooker and call it a day.

Horsin' Around

2009-10-04T10:29:00.008-05:00

Friday morning my co-worker Carole Anne and I saddled up and went to check out the HPD's new Mounted Patrol and Canine facility. HAA has commissioned two works for the new facility. We got a great tour, courtesy of some friendly officers. We saw the administrative area, the obstacle course for the dogs (not the kind on Animal Planet... instead for the scary Police dogs), the barn and the horses' arena. Definitely not something I do every day for work. In fact, I realized while walking into the stalls to snap pics that sandals were probably not the best choice in footwear. Two of the horses stole my heart, which is weird since they are police horses and really shouldn't be stealing anything. First was Nacho, who could "shake" with both of his front hooves (not at the same time, this isn't a Harry Potter story), and when the officer asked him if he was a good boy, he nodded up and down. Then there was Sgt. Pepper. She's beautiful. And, she's got a sort-of-hokey-sort-of-clever name. And I'm all about the hokey and the clever.

Shoe-percallafragalisticexpialladocious!

2009-09-28T22:38:00.004-05:00

I love ballet slippers. I love Louboutins. I love this color... it's the perfect neutral. I've gotta have these Lolo pumps.

Ped Egg on my Face

2009-09-28T21:09:00.008-05:00

After all of my lamenting and promises made to myself and to you, users of the internets, I have to admit something. I caved. If you'll recall, several months ago I shared my disappointment in the Sham Wow, as well as in myself for being sucked in. I swore on a stack of bibles that I would never, EVER buy anything off of the television again. Fast forward a few months (SHER!)... I discovered Bumpits. The little comb thingys you put on top of your head for the perfectly poofed pony tail. Although, in keeping with my promise to myself (sorta), I bought them at the Walgreens, not from the television. At first I thought the Bumpits were the problem. Turns out it was my fine, silky hair that was the problem. But at least the comb that came with them works really well. The comb alone is well worth the $10 price tag.

So, I'm strolling through the Walgreens yesterday when the Ped Egg catches my eye. My gal pal Laurann told me she had one and that she loved it. I scoffed and teased her for having an "As Seen On TV" product. One of these days I am going to remember to listen to whatever she says and not question it... sort of like that episode of Friends when Monica runs Rachel's life. Only without the canned laughter. Long story short? More like short story long, I guess. I caved, I bought the Ped Egg and I am delighted to report that it works wonders. My heels haven't felt this smooth since before they outlawed those skin razor things at the nail shops. So, get ye to the Walgreens and pick up your Ped Egg. It will be the best $12.99 you've ever spent on plastic and tiny razors.

38 Special

2009-09-21T22:40:00.003-05:00

My 38th birthday is almost over. I had a great day, filled with warm wishes and love. The older I get, it's the small things that bring me the most pleasure (don't be silly, of course I am still accepting gifts and cash!). Thoughtfulness is paramount. And nothing compares to an unexpected "I love you, Mommy." Thank you, God of My Understanding for these 38 years. All of them... good, bad and ugly.

Doll-ing, You Look Fabulous!

2009-09-11T16:53:00.006-05:00

To celebrate its 10th anniversary, the luxury retailer Jeffrey is creating its own “Valley of the Dolls.” Its owner, Jeffrey Kalinsky, tapped the designer Jason Wu (think Michelle Obama’s inaugural ball gown) to create a series of limited-edition dolls. Fall looks from Gucci and Stella McCartney (seen above), as well as Givenchy, Celine, Proenza Schuler and Lanvin are sure to make Barbie swoon. The dolls will be auctioned with bids starting at $250 and bidding will close at the end fashion week, with proceeds going to Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and the Atlanta AIDS Partnership Fund. See kids, philanthropy can be phun!

Nacho Libre!

2009-09-08T19:10:00.003-05:00

Over the last few months I have had the great pleasure of working with the Consul General of Mexico, Sr. Carlos Gonzalez de Magallon and his incredibly delightful Cultural Attache, Elsa Borja. I went to their office this afternoon for a meeting and was so surprised and beyond tickled to receive this mascara de luchador (Mexican wrestler's mask) for Jack Allen. He loves it even more than I do. He’s one pair of tights and a cape away from his Halloween costume. And doesn't the mask look great with the Josef Albers?

Shake It Like a Pole-aroid!

2009-09-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

Is this the consolation prize for Toddlers in Tiaras?

Let Him Eat Cake!

2009-09-02T05:04:00.000-05:00

I took JAMP to Solution today for a much needed haircut. While waiting for Mario's shears to do their magic, JAMP snacked on Moeller's strawberry cake. One taste and he was hooked. The apple doesn't fall far!

Padded Sell

2009-08-31T05:43:00.003-05:00

Were you crazy for shoulder pads in the 80s? Did you buy the ones in the can? Yeah, me too. Well, thank you, Marc Jacobs, for bringing back the shoulder pad. I've sooo been longing to look like a linebacker again!

Going Through the "Big D," and I Don't Mean Dallas

2009-08-30T20:49:00.001-05:00

Well, tonight is my last night to be married. Tomorrow morning I go before the judge to terminate my marriage. Part of me is sad, giving up the dream for what I thought would be, part of me is glad it's almost over... the last few months have been grueling. All of me is looking forward to a new life and a fresh start. Many thanks to my friends and family for their love and support. Even though the ending is sad, I still feel so blessed. Thank you, Baby Jesus.

Flashdance Meets Breakdance

2009-08-26T18:36:00.004-05:00

Wonder Boy bustin' a move!

Pegged Perfection

2009-08-20T20:21:00.005-05:00

Featured earlier this month in the New York Times was the recently remodeled mid-century (second) home of writer Douglas Coupland in Vancouver, British Columbia. I can't decide which I love more... this Hirst-inspired embroiderer's dream, or Coupland's comment on art and home decor, “I’m suspicious of places that look decorated,” he said. “I can understand why people do it, but you see too many cushions or a piece of fabric hanging and it’s, like, ‘Ugh!’ A good house with good art will always work, no matter what.”

Now I Get It!

2009-08-09T14:21:00.007-05:00

For the last week I've been wondering what all of the fuss was about over the new HEB on Buffalo. Between the stand still traffic and the shuttle busses for customers, I just didn't get it. It's not like these people haven't ever seen a grocery store before. How special could it be? Well, I'll tell you. Great produce, cheese, meats, fresh-rolled sushi, super friendly staff (I even had a nice chat with Shannon, the store manager in the commercials) and really low prices. Seriously. The Cholula hot sauce I love was only $2.29. That's $2 less than Kroger and Randalls. And they have orchids for $9.99. Good ones, with multiple stems that aren't practically dead. These might actually live for a while (good test to see if my thumb is really black, or just dark green). It's a far cry from the HEB I remember, the one in Kerville (affectionately known as the HEEB), the closest grocery store to Mystic. What post is complete without a mention of JAMP? He loved Buddy, the life size walking-but-not-talking mascot, a brown paper bag filled with groceries. And they have the race car grocery baskets. Yes, they are huge and almost impossible to steer, but hey, he will actually sit down. Welcome to the neighborhood, HEB.

Toddlers and Tiaras

2009-08-07T21:46:00.005-05:00

There are so many things wrong with this. This shit happens? It's on TV? I am watching it? Do little girls need extensions? This is the reason God sent me a son. Of course, that didn't stop "Little Handsome" winner, Cameron's mom. I do have to say I dig Eden's feathers and Brianne's crown.

Why Didn't I Think of That?

2009-08-06T20:19:00.004-05:00

Seriously, I'm pretty sure this is just one of those clampy things people use when rock climbing and other such outdoor activity. Slap some no-slide foam and print "Mommy" on it and charge $8. Genius. Looks like I could clamp my purse to just about anything. Wonder if it's strong enough to hold all my other baggage.

Watch Your Back, Marky Mark!

2009-07-31T14:31:00.004-05:00

He may not be modeling for Calvin Klein (yet), but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a call any minute now from Paul Frank offering Wonder Boy a six-figure modeling contract.